the fbi-- black friday-- in >> tonight guns allowed on college campuses. now you really don't want too face the fightin irish. then i get snubbed by a major magazine. shocking. that there is still a major magazine. (laughter) >> plus my guest theoretical physicist sean carroll has a new book that i theoretically read. (laughter) nasa claims they found ice on mercury. well, i'll believe that when the closest planet to the sun freezes over. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report! thank you for joining us! choo, choo, choo! hello! (cheers and applause) stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> thank you, ladies and gentlemen. you are the greatest! thank you very much. i got to tell you, when i get that kind of 4r06 from you folks i just want to go up into the stands and cradle you in my arms like a baby. (cheers and applause) folks you know me, you know my broadcasting ca roar has been dedicated to celebrat